some old stuff.

a single note:

this blog isnt dead.  it's not going away, its not over.  here's some stuff that's just been sitting here for months.

quotes and conversations. 

Me:  Is your back still fucked up?
Goose:  I think it's my hip.
Me:  You know what's good for that?
Maritess:  Boning down.
Goose:  Boning down nasty style.
Me:  Yoga.  Geez you guys.

Dega:  Have you ever been to Cony Island? 
Me:  No.
Dega:  They have this game there called shoot the freak.  You shoot this raver with purple hair.
Me:  Yeah, but it's different now.
Dega:  It is?
Me:  Yeah.  Now it's called shoot the hipster.  And instead its some asshole with a red beanie and a fixie.
Dega:  I hate you.

"Some girls are too nice to tell a guy no.  That's how I ended up on a date with a guy that worked at the renaissance fair."

"Come on Pito, show me your dark side.  You know, I don't think it's that dark.  I think it's kinda white."
-Camaal, talking to Eddie.

Merrell:  Gerardo, you look like Julius Ceasar. 
Gerardo:  Does that make you wanna fuck me?

Eddie:  Hey Dega.
Dega:  Yeah.
Eddie:  Guess what i'm gonna do tomorrow?
Dega:  What?
Eddie:  Bone down regular style.
Gerardo:  Regular.

Me:  Camaal, you don't want to lose ten pounds.  You'll look like Eddie.
Camaal:  I don't wanna look like Eddie.
Me:  No.
Eddie:  What.  Are you talking about my stinky pussy?

(Merell and I are bickering.  I pass her a pan of chickens mid argument.)
Me:  And take your fucking cock, because its the only kind you're getting!
Merrell:  Well...I don't have anything to say to that.  So fuck you.

Eddie:  Here's a good one.  Wanna know how much of a pussy I am?  I cried through the entire movie "Up."
Me:  (Hysterical laughing)
Merrell:  Why are you volunteering this information?
Eddie:  Have you seen it?  It's a very touching movie.
Al:  Fire back 40.
Me:  I'm sorry Al, I couldn't hear you because I was too busy laughing about Eddie crying through the entire movie "Up."
Maritess:  Have you seen it?  It's a very touching movie.

from top:  pig diagram, restrictions apply, mer-mer's birthday, making james freeman cringe, pigs head, burning towels, butchery, tomato, amy brown, los angeles, a big ass mimosa.


adriene crimson said...

It really is a very touching movie - have you seen it?
You will totally cry too. I bet you a bowl of your ramen you will.

Chris said...

you need to post more stuff. i work in a restaurant think your stuff is funny

Chris said...

you need to post more stuff. you blog is funny stuff

Anonymous said...

That pig head is freaking me out.

don't touch my knife said...

YES! I'm so fucking glad this blog isn't dead. time for a celebratory bourbon.

The Sofa King said...


riyadsamer said...

Thanks dear..