Good Chef/Bad Chef

Your chef.  He's worked in the best restaurants.  He can taste flavors you didn't know existed.  There's a lightness in his step, despite the fact that he's been on his feet for 16 hours.  He speaks French.  When he cooks something, it tastes good every time.  Unless...he's worked in restaurants you've never heard of, or that aren't in business anymore.  He sits down, sometimes for an entire service.  He speaks horrible, broken Spanish that's borderline offensive to the prep cooks.  And when he cooks something, it's so overloaded with cayenne and paprika that it brings tears to your eyes and stains your mouth red.

Some cooks never get to experience the "bad chef."  They go through their entire career, more or less hand picking their moves, and they learn from the best.  The rest make their moves based on a combination of necessity, or convenience, or even desperation.  And often this leads to a run in with an obnoxious sous chef, or a cocky chef de cuisine, or the witless exec.  And in rare instances, an evil combination of all three.

On my way up, I went through a spell where I was good enough to lead the kitchen, but didn't have enough experience for my chef to promote me.  Because of this, I was introduced to an endless array of some of the most inept, sexually harrassing, no skill having, racist homophobic chefs since season's 1-4 of Top Chef.  I was frustrated, stirring up shit among the cooks, complaining to my boss, and eventually contemplating quitting altogether.  There would be screaming matches, yelling, distrust.  Every day was hard, and when I would go out for beers with the boys, all I could talk about was the bullshit going on at work.

Eventually, you realize that good folks are going to come and go, and all you can do is take care of yourself, contribute all you can, and not worry about anything else.  The bad chef always ends up filtering himself out, and at very least, you get to have a laugh or two along the way--or possibly challenge yourself and learn a thing or two.  Things become clear for you, and in the future, you can see a bad situation coming--and when you're in a good situation, you really appreciate it.  And at very least, you know to go easy on the cayenne.



notes:

• Bake sale Betty's fried chicken sandwich can lead to a dangerous habit.
• Calling people back is sometimes very difficult.
• A new iphone model?  Already?  Is it wrong that im annoyed and excited all at the same time?
• The more I think about my meal at Domo, the more annoyed I get.
• Prosciutto and pancetta are not the same thing.  Who knew?
• All that build up for the Bocuse D'or, then we get 6th place.
• Falafels, Nizario's pizza, and Lil' Chihuahua might lead to a very bad stomach ache.
• It's true:  Blue Bottle Bindhi coffee is better cold.

Quotes and conversations.

Me:  Sophia, tell me something interesting.
Sophia:  Do you watch America's Next Top Dance Crew?
Me:  Blerg.


Mongoose:  You know, like you order a ham, and they give you the whole ham on a plate.
Me:  They call that the Flinstones portion.


Chef:  I think Corey's balls are the new Rubik's cube.
Corey:  Hey dude, they aint that hard to figure out.


Corey:  Don't get me wrong, it's hard, but I enjoy it.
Me, to Amy:  He's talking about penis.


"I have seen one.  Timecop."
-Maritess, who got a new nickname this week.


"Torta's get extra bacon."
-Ponder.  Who is completely correct.


Me:  Corey, how was your day off?
Corey:  I didn't do shit.  I watched America's Funniest Home Videos.  Saw a pig roll down a hill.  Shit was funny as hell.


Me:  Hey Corey, I have a business proposition for you...that doesn't involve you taking off your clothes.
Corey:  Hey dude.  How did you know I was gonna say that?


Me:  What should I do with all these pasta sraps?
Amy:  You should make a vest.
Corey:  You should ball it up, put it in a sack, and hit Al with it.


Me:  Can I have some maple syrup with my pancakes?
Al:  You mean crepes.
Me:  You're right.


Al:  That was one of the funniest things  you've ever said.
Me:  Thanks Al.  I'm trying to be funnier.
Al:  Yeah, you should try harder.


"She should win a burger bun for torta of the month."
-Ponder.  Trophy maker.


Me:  Ponder, would it be gay if I got a tattoo of us riding a tandem bike together?
Ponder:  That'd be doooope.


Me:  Eddie, how was Santa Fe?  Did you bring back any Hopi Indian jewelry?
Eddie:  No, I didn't bring you a turquoise cock ring.


from top: old knife/new knife, table, bakesale betty's, berkeley farmer's market, gibraltar, foil man, boards, menu, home is good, hostility flow chart, torta of the month award, eddie curing bacon at 1am, hi jamie